Nerdy V-Day Poems

In anticipation of Valentine’s Day I’ve seen the following poem making rounds on Facebook:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If you were a null hypothesis,
I’d fail to reject you.

Now, far be it from me to offer criticism, I’m certainly not one to talk, etc. but this poem sucks. It fails to embody one of the two principle properties the original poem had, the rhythm of it’s 4-syllables-per-line (the other being the abcb rhyme scheme):

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you.

That’s what makes it flow so nicely!

So, emboldened by my recent forays into poetry, I decided to try quickly my hand at a few (admittedly poor) alternates, inspired by nerdy-sciencey-academia type stuff. Here they are:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Reviewer three,
I do hate you.

Markings are red,
I am so blue,
Grading this test,
They have no clue.

Errors are red,
Death screen of blue,
Code has just killed,
My CPU.

Eyes are so red,
Sky no more blue,
Sipping coffee,
Near a breakthrough.

Though those aren’t really romantic, I realize. So let’s try:

Smoke lights are red,
Lab gloves are blue,
Best that you now,
My form review.

Haematid’s red,
Hemolymph’s blue,
Blood is flowing,
When I see you.

Priors are red,
Likelihood’s blue,
Ol’ Bayes would want,
Your post’ to view.

Math papers read,
May make me blue,
P-values rise,
When next to you.

(Cover Image Credit: Arashiyama, from Wikimedia Commons)

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